8/29/2016: Dustin & Whitney

Today's #wirehousedaily from Dustin & Whitney includes a demo of a song on a future EP from Dustin- and Whitney gets real about what flight attendants should be sharing before takeoff.

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Flying in 48 Hours by whitney lamora currier

Actual photo of my feelings about flying. Toss the door open and GTFO.

Actual photo of my feelings about flying. Toss the door open and GTFO.

Three ensemble members stand in a vertical line center stage. Throughout the piece as each person says their line- they exit to the back, the other members stepping forward. Stereotypical airline safety instructions used throughout- or any repeated small gesture - is highly encouraged.

VOICE OVER
Ladies and gentlemen, we welcome you to tonight’s flight. We ask that you give your attention to our airline staff in the center aisle for some very important safety information.

ENSEMBLE 1
Good evening! My coworkers and I who are incredibly exhausted and still have two more flights to complete before we get to sleep in our own beds tonight- would like to share some airline tips to ensure the best possible experience on this flight.

ENSEMBLE 2
We aren’t going to go through that water landing, oxygen mask rigamarole that we subject you to every other flight experience. We know you sit there, confidently ignoring us- even though we know you’ll never be able to inflate that vest correctly.

ENSEMBLE 3
This time we’re going to focus on the more important things. Namely: how not to be an asshole and collectively get through this insane invention of time, space, and science together.

ENSEMBLE 1
Let’s start by looking at the people around you that you do not know. Greet them. GREET THEM. Now- ask them how they’re feeling about this flight. Spoiler alert: some of you couldn’t give a shit less we’re about to be 30,000 feet in the air and some of you are crippled by it.

ENSEMBLE 2
Establish if you both are comfortable in the seats you’re in or if you’d rather switch. If you agree to switch, do it now. SWITCH!

ENSEMBLE 3
Establish what kind of flyer you are. Most importantly establish should you fall asleep before refreshment service what drink and or snack you’d like in order to not leave them in that awkward situation where they don’t know if they should wake you up or let you sleep and hope you really didn’t want a Sierra Mist.

ENSEMBLE 1
If you’re a nervous flyer, say it with me. One, Two, Three: I’m a nervous flyer!


ENSEMBLE 2
Everyone else who didn’t say that, repeat after me: And I will respect that!

ENSEMBLE 3
Establish who has the crossword puzzle in your row of magazines because we promise only one of you will have one still available to use. Use whatever negotiation tactics needed to keep it for the duration of this flight.

ENSEMBLE 1
High five each other and say thank you for opening up just now.

ENSEMBLE 2
Alright, we’re wrapping up now with some last minute reminders.

ENSEMBLE 3
Everyone understands that a baby on flight is the worst thing to happen to a flight outside of crashing, and tonight we have 3 babies on the plane so it’s going to be terrible in here for a while. Don’t act like you’re the only person who can hear it. We can all hear it.

ENSEMBLE 1
Don’t get up a lot! It makes people nervous.

ENSEMBLE 2
Don’t ask us for stupid stuff.

ENSEMBLE 3
And for the love of god don’t act like an idiot the second the wheels touch down at our location. You’ve landed. Calm down.

ENSEMBLE 1
From all of us at your cheapest flight option a random algorithm presented to you one day:

ALL ENSEMBLE
Enjoy your flight!